This is a marathon.

This is supposed to serve a purpose – as a lesson to myself.

It’s funny that I need that reassurance countless times. That I am doing the right thing. That I am not in the wrong here. That I am not the bad guy here. That this is the right thing. That I should get out of that hole as soon as I can, before it gets too deep. 

Countless phone calls, texts, whine asking for reassurance. Am I doing the right thing? Remind me again why I’m doing this? And they will tell me the same thing over and over again. Yes, I am doing the right thing. The most telling signs, that this is indeed, the right thing is that it didn’t bother him enough to ask why or find out what’s happening. If it really means something to him, he would ask, he would find out. But he didn’t.

He didn’t. 

There is no guilt here. I am not the bad guy here. I am doing the right thing. I am. However difficult it is doing the right thing.  

Filed under: Rant, Feelings, Moving forward, Reflections

To the boy who made me dinner.

To the boy who made me dinner. 

To the boy who made me laughed.

To the boy who smelled nice

To the boy whom I miss.

 

To the boy who made me dinner.

To the boy who listened.

To the boy who consoled.

To the boy who made everything fall into place.

 

To the boy who made me dinner.

To the boy who made me videos.

To the boy who walked me home.

To the boy who gave me presents.

 

To the boy who made me dinner.

To the boy who carried my groceries.

To the boy who asked how was my day.

To the boy who answered my questions.

 

To the boy who made me dinner.

To the boy who cancelled on me.

To the boy who broke his promises.

To the boy who raised his voice.

To the boy who is attached.

 

To the boy who made me dinner.

And on the days he didn’t make me dinner, he broke my heart instead.

Filed under: Rant, Feelings