That your intended isn’t me

Maybe as part of the healing process, I need to forgive myself too. For believing for a second that it could be something. 

It is myself that I need to make peace with. It is myself that I need to forgive. That sometimes you misjudged people’s words and actions. That sometimes what someone did or said to you meant different things to you than what he intended.

That you will never know whether he really was oblivious to the pain he was causing you. That he was maybe genuinely thought he was being a good friend. That maybe he was trying to change himself.

But all that didn’t matter.

It’s time to forgive yourself. You can’t blame him forever.

And what good would it do even if he said he knew what he was doing? Would his words heal those wounds? Pick up your self-esteem back up again and be whole in an instant? Would his words make it any easier?

This is your part now. To forgive yourself. To make peace with yourself. To console yourself.  

That it is okay to make mistakes. Sometimes, you misjudged and you ended up breaking your own heart.

But it’s okay. It will be okay.

Forgive.  

Filed under: Rant, Moving forward; reflection

The one truly faithful.

Some days are better than others. Some days are worse than others. And on those days, you will questions things. About things that are not happening to you. Blindsided by the rave, forgetting that the road is long. That each story is different.

On the worse days, you struggle with nothingness. You seek what is not yet meant for you. You know all too well that the road is long. And that you’re still on a long journey to some wonderful destination. You may not know where you’re going, but you’ve made it halfway. And it’s not too bad. You will get there someday. Enjoy your time along the way. Hold on. Cling on to that faith – you will get there someday. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Fret not. And you will get there someday. And even if you don’t, it’s not the be all, end all to everything.  

Filed under: Rant